Sunday, March 10, 2013

Catastrophe at Lisiano's

Any positive comments I made in my last post about Lisiano's, I take back.  Last night my cousin, Catherine, came home from school on spring break.  We decided to go out to dinner and catch up on all the latest news.  It was sort of a last minute idea so we never made any reservations.  We were torn between going to Tengda for some sushi or Lisiano's for some comfort food.  Keeping in mind that it was a Saturday night at 7, we thought that Tengda would be mobbed and judging on my last experience at Lisiano's (tumbleweeds were rolling by) we decided it would be better to go there.

To our shock and surprise of every customer there, Lisiano's was mobbed.  There was a party of 5 and a party of 4 in front of us and apparently another party that snuck in through the back door.  Every single table was full.  I've never seen it like that in there before.  Cat and I waited to be seated for about an hour.  Yes, we could have left, but we figured wherever we went we would have to wait.  Worst decision ever.  While we were waiting to be seated, customers already seated at the other tables were complaining about the terrible service.  Mostly all of the table tops were empty.  It appeared that no one had gotten their food yet.  The same waiter from the middle of the week was there with two other people.  He looked like a disheveled mess.  Having attractive (and I don't mean physical appearance of their face) waiters in important.  Who wants to get their food from someone who looks like the grumpy old troll from under the bridge?  He was sweating bullets, his hair was a mess, and his clothes were just ugly. 

There was almost a riot among the customers.  Two separate couples ended up leaving.  One old man had his head down on the table because their food still hadn't arrived.  Every time Mr. Troll was asked about when their food was coming, he just kept saying, "Yours is coming up next."  That was definitely not the case.  Finally a party of six paid their bill and left.  At this point I was flipping out as well.  I was thinking- if they don't seat us at that table because it seats six, I'm going to start throwing tables.  They set the table for 6 but then they told us we could sit there.  Finally I was in a seat!  We were given bread and water (the food of prisoners).  I took some olive oil off of another table.  We had no silverware or napkins.  The glasses were dirty and my plate was dirty.  There was like a crusted up green leaf stuck to the plate.  It must have been from not rinsing the plate off before putting it in the dishwasher.  So I didn't care and still ate my bread.  The bread was delicious.  The waitress finally came over to give us menus but at that point, we were ready to order without a menu. 

Cat and I ordered the same thing- tortellini soup and shrimp fra diavolo.  Luckily the soup came out right away.  Mind you, people all over still hadn't gotten their food so I thought I would savor the soup.  The soup was delicious.  I love tortellini soup and it's so tasty from there.  I will never be having it again though because I'm not going there again.  We waited after the soup.  Still no napkins and silverware.  Finally people started leaving and dishes were coming out one by one.  I hate that.  When some people in a party get their food while others have nothing.  So unprofessional.  A real restaurant serves everyone at the same time.  And around 9:20 our shrimp appeared.  It was okay.  I shoved it down, I was so hungry. The shrimp had the shells around the tail.  I mean, what the hell?  How are you supposed to eat a shrimp covered in red tomato sauce with a shell on it?  You can't put your hands in the sauce.  Roasted garlic was in every bite.  I little too much.  It had a nice amount of heat.  Their sauce tastes funny to me.  It's a little sweet.  We finished, paid the bill, and left.  It was about 9:50 when we left the restaurant.  It doesn't end there either.

We drove around for a while, grabbed a tea from Dunkin, and then I dropped Cat off at home.  I went home and got ready for bed.  All of a sudden, at 4 o'clock, I woke up with terrible stomach pain.  I thought I was going to be sick but thank the Lord, I did not.  I took a few Tums, had a few sips of water, and stayed "seated" for quite a bit of time.  Meanwhile the whole time I was panicking.  I usually get a bad stomach bug every other year.  I had one last year!  I was thinking- what am I going to do, I'll hate shrimp fra diavolo from now on, I won't be able to go to Kelly's party tomorrow, I won't be able to work on my TEAM paper, I'll have to call out on Monday if I'm puking all Sunday, it's CMT time what will I do?  I was in pure panic mode.  (PS- Amy, I was like 'I'll text Amy, she'll watch that shark thing with my class, I'll tell Angela to write a message and show the sub where all of my cloze papers are)  I was freaking out.  Just like that episode of Seinfeld.  I'm freakin' out!  I am freaking out!  I felt stable after a while and then I decided not to immediately go back to lying down.  I sat up in my chair and luckily "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" was on TV.  I kept switching chairs all morning long. 

In conclusion, I will never eat there again.  They do have pizza but I think only for orders to go.  Nevertheless, I will not eat there again.  My mom wasn't crazy about it last time, this time the service was horrible, the dishes were dirty, the food was mezza-mezz, and I got sick.  I was also sent into a major anxiety attack.  I think 5 years were taken off my life.  Never again, folks.  Never again.  I hope my next bite is a hell of a lot better than this one.  Eat there at your own risk.

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